Couples Therapy, a BBC program that delves into the intricacies of romantic relationships, has gained a considerable following for its raw, emotive, and sometimes gut-wrenching sessions that aim to resolve relationship issues. The show puts a spotlight on a variety of couples seeking professional help for an array of problems, ranging from infidelity and trust issues to communication breakdowns. But how true to reality is this program? Does it genuinely portray the essence and complexity of couples therapy, or is it designed for dramatic effect to keep viewers hooked?

The Setting

The setting of Couples Therapy is a crucial factor to consider when evaluating its realism. Unlike many dramatised shows, this program typically focuses on a single setting—the therapist's office—resembling a real-life therapy session. This setting allows for an in-depth focus on the characters and their problems, rather than getting sidetracked by extraneous elements.

The Therapist

Another key aspect of the show is the presence of a qualified therapist, an essential mediator who navigates the troubled waters of human relationships. While the therapist's credentials and methods seem legitimate, it's crucial to note that effective therapy often involves building a rapport over several weeks or even months. This long-term process isn't adequately captured in an episode or a season.

Authenticity of the Participants

A major question regarding the show's realism is the authenticity of its participants. While it's said that the couples are not actors and are genuinely seeking therapy, the presence of cameras inevitably impacts human behaviour. There's an inherent tension between needing to be honest to benefit from therapy and being aware that one's vulnerabilities will be broadcast to a large audience. This level of scrutiny can subtly but significantly alter a person's demeanour, candour, and willingness to engage with the process.

Ethical Concerns

Another dimension to consider is the ethical aspect of televising real therapy sessions. In conventional therapy, confidentiality is sacrosanct. Broadcasting someone's deepest issues for public consumption raises questions about the sanctity of the therapeutic process. This exposure could potentially dilute the effectiveness of therapy for the participating couples and may raise ethical concerns for the profession.

The Entertainment Factor

The format and editing of the show must also be considered. Couples Therapy, like any television program, is edited for time and dramatic effect. Consequently, viewers see only the most intense or entertaining snippets of the sessions. Real therapy involves more than these high-octane moments; it's a nuanced process that may involve a lot of silences, seemingly mundane conversations, and gradual, incremental progress that doesn't necessarily make for 'good TV.'

Conclusion

While Couples Therapy offers viewers an intimate glimpse into the complexities of human relationships and the therapeutic process, its format and setting do deviate from a typical therapy experience. As with any television program that represents reality, it's essential for viewers to approach it with a critical eye. The show provides valuable insights into human behaviour and the intricacies of romantic relationships, but it should not be considered a direct substitute or accurate portrayal of the full scope and depth of genuine couples therapy. Definitely don’t try to recreate the advice or methods of the therapist at home but do watch the series with your partner if you have one; it may make for interesting conversations!

As a couples therapist for the past 2 years I have helped couples navigate some of their trickiest relational problems. The un-sexy truth about couples therapy is that it takes consistent effort and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other over the course of weeks or months. It is not a quick fix or simplistic solution. But the feelings of being reconnected with your partner if you have drifted or fallen out is what keeps couples coming back to sessions. When the air is cleared between you and conflicts have been finally resolved, looking into each other's eyes and enjoying being together is well worth all the hard work. As a client I was working with last week said “my only regret is that we didn’t do this 10 years ago. It has been so helpful for us”.

If you think your relationship could benefit from some support then arrange a free exploration call with one of the team to explore how therapy could work for you.