We Are Both Glued to Our Devices

We're both glued to our phones and laptops. Even when we're in the same room, we're not really present with each other. We want to connect, but we're addicted to our screens. How do we break this cycle and rediscover each other?

Thanks for sharing this. You're not alone in your struggle with screens.

I could give you advice about breaking bad habits and forming new ones (see my article above about harnessing science). But I think you deserve more than that. Can I be really honest?

Ok. Your mismanagement of devices is a secondary problem stemming from a deeper issue with your connection.

When not handled properly, your screens can function like an illicit lover. I know that sounds extreme, but anything that comes between you two is a threat to your intimacy. And it sounds like you're both letting your screens come between you. My hunch is that being on your screens became a convenient distraction from the challenges of being and staying connected. The issue hasn’t been addressed head-on, and now there’s a bigger divide between you.

It’s not all doom and gloom, though. The fact that you’re asking the question about rediscovering each other shows that the light hasn’t gone out.

I think you need a few sessions with a trained couples therapist to get to the root of the disconnection before you make a plan for how to manage your life with screens.

Be prepared to do some honest introspection and clean out that closet of past gripes and discontent. Be ready to stretch into some new experiences together. You will grow together as you help each other go deeper.

For more reading specifically on managing screens, I recommend Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism.