What Is Emotional Health?
"Emotional intelligence" is a relatively new phrase in modern psychology. Psychologist and author Daniel Goleman popularised the phrase in the 1990s. But the concept has long been valued in the spectrum of different types of equipment or natural intelligence.
How do I build emotional intelligence?
To be emotionally intelligent, you need to do two things:
Understand
Notice
Learning to notice and understand your emotions is key to developing emotional intelligence
Understand
Emotions are complex chemical structures. Different emotions are have varied composition. They each have a unique purpose. If you don't already understand the basics about how emotions are made - and what they're for - we've got a book for you. Professor Stephen Peters’ book, The Chimp Paradox, is a great introduction to emotional intelligence. It will tell you everything you need to know. You'll learn how emotions can be developed through habits, and how to alter your emotional patterns.
Understanding the science of emotions is just one part of the process, though.
Notice
It's also critical to know what it's like for you when these emotions show up in your body. This is where noticing comes in. A good place to start is by making an emotion journal. Record your feelings at different points in the day. Include any corresponding thoughts or sensations.
A journal entry might look like this.
We will lose two thirds of the team. I wonder if it will be my job that goes?
Practising this sort of noticing on a regular basis, strengthens mind-body connections. You will also start to become more aware of your emotions in the future.
In this way, you can grow in emotional intelligence.
The downside of emotional intelligence
A word to the wise, though. As your body realizes that you're paying attention to its chemical firings (emotions), it may decide to fire a few more. Or maybe even some new ones you haven't felt before. It may feel like your emotions are worse than before you started noticing them, not better.
Don't worry, you can trust your body's internal wisdom (intuition)
To know the right way to handle your feelings, give them some space (we recommend a holiday). Find some loving support (we recommend having a therapist you can call on). Your body will lead you into a place of emotional ease.
And this, after all, is the goal of developing emotional intelligence.